The Hundred Dollar Mai Tai
The Bum has a confession to make. Actually, he has quite a few, but since we are on his website and not the local constabulary's, he will limit himself to this one: on those happy occasions when he has begged, borrowed, or (heaven forbid) earned enough change to buy a drink, he never orders a Mai Tai.
Why? A Mai Tai should not be red. A Mai Tai should not be yellow. The Bum has been served Mai Tais in every color of the rainbow, and the time has come to put his foot down (a gesture that would have more impact were he not now lying on a bar-room floor, but never mind that).
History
Trader Vic invented the Mai Tai in 1944 (see page 7 of the Grog Log for the full origin myth). Back then he made the drink with the best Curacao liqueur on the market, and a 17-year-old rum imported by J. Wray & Nephew. "The flavor of this great rum wasn't meant to be overpowered with heavy additions of fruit juices and flavorings," warned the Trader, a warning that has since fallen on deaf ears — specifically, the ears of bar owners and tenders who have tranfsormed Vic's invention into crayon-colored liquid candy.
A proper Mai Tai has a deep amber hue, because it's the liquor that should dominate the drink, not the sweeteners. Unfortunately, 17-year-old J. Wray & Nephew rum is a thing of the past, but by replacing it with an aged Martinique rum mixed with a premium Jamaican rum — and using the best Curacao on the current market — we can approximate Vic's original goal of "creating a drink that would be the finest drink we could make, using the finest ingredients we could find."
Ingredients
Using the finest ingredients we could find, we came up with a palate-pleasing variation on Vic's original recipe. There's just one catch: It will cost you $100.
Oh, all right, not really. A fifth of rum contains 25.5 ounces, which amortizes out to 25 drinks. So divide that C-note by 25 and you're actually paying a mere $4 per Mai Tai — about half of what you'd pay if you went to the mall and ordered one at P.J. McGillicuddy's Food 'N' Funnery. So here's your shopping list (prices will vary store by store):
| One fifth Saint James 15-year Hors D'Age Rum | $41.95 |
| One fifth Appleton Estate Extra rum | $23.99 |
| One bottle Marie Brizard orange curacao | $20.99 |
| One bottle Trader Vic orgeat syrup | $5.99 |
| One bottle Trader Vic rock candy syrup | $5.99 |
| One pound fresh limes | $1.29 |
| One bunch fresh mint | $1.99 |
| TOTAL: | $102.19 |
Preparation
And here's what to do with it all:
To make one $100 Mai Tai, crush enough ice to fill a double old-fashioned glass, and put the crushed ice in your cocktail shaker. Next, pour in one ounce of Saint james, one ounce of Appleton, 1/2 ounce of Curacao, and one-fourth of an ounce each of orgeat and rock candy syrup. Then, pour in one ounce of fresh-squeezed lime juice (we know, the Grog Log specifies 1 1/2 ounces, but for some reason, with these rums, one ounce feels right — more and the lime dominates, less and the result is too sweet). Now, drop in a lime shell and shake everything like hell for around ten seconds. Finally, pour it all into your double old-fashioned glass, add more crushed ice to fill, and garnish with a sprig of mint.
Now sip. And think not of your next Visa card statement, but your next round.